Honey, I Shrunk the Mummy

Back in the admin area of my blog there’s a section where I can see the search terms that people use when they find it. I saw that someone had searched for the keyword “shrunk”. Curious, I conducted a Google search to see what popped up, since in the past I’ve always been more likely to search for “shrunken man”, or “shrunken men”, and not simply “shrunk”.

I found this video, and I had to look at it. It’s quite goofy, but I like it! About a year and a half ago I wrote a story about a mummy as a series of Halloween entries for my old giantess blog, so I was more inclined to enjoy it than not. And as I’ve mentioned before, we that write stories about giantesses and shrunken men sometimes enjoy creating characters based on classic horror creatures such as Dracula, Frankenstein, zombies, mummies, etc.

Notwithstanding this video’s silliness, perhaps you will agree with me that less than a minute into it things suddenly become extremely interesting, and stay that way for 47 seconds. If there was a shrunken man in my life that because of life’s travails ended up being mummified in a magical ritual that gave him life after death, there’s a likelihood I’d want to see if there are things he can still do.

Menicure, not manicure!

Because more than one little man is necessary.

Last night I was reading MattyBoy’s latest Math post, in which he used a ladder to illustrate his point. So I’m reading about the ladder and given how my mind lives in the gutter- in fact, sometimes I think the gutter is in my mind, but never mind.

So I’m thinking a ladder is what a shrunken man needs to climb up to those hard-to-reach places that are a woman’s… well, every part of a woman except her toes and heels, because every once in a while she grows so tall even the arch of her foot is a distant domed ceiling. Anyway, I was thinking about that, and then just a few minutes ago I tripped on the Flickr image above.

It’s fun when the universe conspires to divert me. Thank you, universe.

There are other similar images (just a few) in the author’s photostream, if you wish to take a gander. Here’s another effective use of a ladder I really like.

"Ideas32" by Kassandra

Nothing to report

Good luck, Lobot.

I figure this old image has been seen by shrinking and giantess fans at least three million times. I live in the back, so I only spotted it a few days ago. Shirley you understand I had to sneak it in here and show it to y’all. I’m not sure if it’s an ad, but it was taken by Helmut Newton, who clearly had a giantess fetish, or maybe a G.I. Joe fetish.

Either way, I like the image despite its blatant display of shoes I would not be caught comatose wearing, and because I’m a proud owner of a G.I. Joe sex toy myself. It reminds me of scenes in that movie I have yet to go see, Monsters vs. Aliens, and it reminds me of the humor in that sort of situation.

Ya know, little guy with a puny weapon thinks he can take on a woman many times his size, and before you can say “squish”, he is. In my mind, bullets of any caliber tickle. In fact, missiles, aircrafts, meteorites, alien mother ships, hurling planets, swirling galaxies, they all tickle when they make impact on the skin of a giantess the various sizes I’ve imagined myself to be.

And I like his Lobot gear. What sort of input would a shrunken man get through that sort of apparatus? “Proximity warning! Alert! Alert! Danger is afoot! Warning, warnihhhfffzzzzggh- ” . I’ve mentioned to you before I’m not fond of violently crushing a little man, but every once in a while I’m in a position that helps me see the bright side in that sort of situation, particularly when I’m dealing with people that say one thing and act another, or refuse to provide me with excellent customer service, or sell me something that will break after one use.

In other news, I love my friends even though they send me endless email forwards, and choose to date / marry the wrong person, and go through silly and unnecessary cosmetic “enhancements”, and make me add one Facebook application after another.

Tell no one I reached level 17 in Mafia Wars. It’s our little secret, yes?

This is my song this week:

Anjulie – Boom

Daniel Nassoy’s Views

I’m poking around my WordPress admin area, trying to find a blog theme that fulfills my every dream and does the laundry as well, but no luck so far. I also fiddled with my Firefox bookmarks during the weekend, and deleted a large number of them that I originally intended to use in collages. A few are no longer part of the Internet, and others had to go because I will never have time to use them.

Among them I found Manstouch, a gallery of male nude photography and art I bookmarked before I began to have certain ideas about the source of materials I wanted to use for my collages. The reason I saved the link was a series of images titled “Views”, by Daniel Nassoy. They are displayed below, and as you can see they are all about shrunken men, several of them trapped in glass bottles or jars.

Here’s what Mr. Nassoy writes about his images:

My work and photography can be summed up in a single word, ESCAPE. Whether it is through black and white photographs of gardens, flowers, architecture, or through an enduring passion for male nudes, or even through reworking colour photos on the computer, I am looking for Evasion. In my photography I am escaping, and everybody who sees my photos can also dream and escape. Photography allows me the time, to look, to admire, to sublimate and communicate my passion and sometimes my fantasies.

A-ha! Fantasies about tiny men encapsulated in various interesting containers, I think.

View 1

View 2

View 3

View 4

View 5

View 6

Some kind of cell phone genie

What's with the tiny puppy?

Maybe it’s because I’m out-of-my-mind tired, but I find the above ad freaky. I found it online—the way I find dang near everything—at the Flickrs: Take the dog! Spare me!

I don’t like it but I’m posting it because I could have liked if only he would have a lower body, and would lose the puppy, and not have a cell phone for legs. I don’t care how much it vibrates, some things are irreplaceable.

So I’ll pretend he’s some sort of cell phone genie that comes out when she rubs it, and that when he offers her three wishes she says nothing about world peace or the end to hunger, and instead she commands him to lose the puppy and have legs and all the stuff in the middle.

Oingo Boingo – Weird Science

Sunsilk ads

I like those little hair monsters.

This is such a cool Sunsilk ad campaign! Sure, there isn’t a giantess or a shrunken man in it, but it’s the idea of the slogan “Wash out your hair monsters” that makes me think of alternate scenarios. The images of the ladies dangling those little critters from their fingers’ hold while considering them with something close to disgust only gives fuel to my imagination.

I can see myself finding not a monster in my hair, but a shrunken little guy as I perform my morning ablutions. At first I wouldn’t know what I’ve captured, but when I realize what I have in my grip the expression on my face would shift from WTF to OMG Gr8!

And that’s why I saved the original images shown above. Eventually I will replace those monsters with real little men, and when I do, I will stand mistress of all I survey and whisper thunderously, “‘Tis as it should be.”

Advertising Agency: JWT, Paris, France

Photographer: Vincent Dixon

And a YouTube ad starring those cute hair creatures:

Hansaplast ads

Hand

Leg

Hansaplast is a brand of products for the treatment of wounds, injuries, insect bites, etc. I think it’s originated in Germany. A few days ago I burned my hand in two places while taking food out of the oven, and the only bandages I have in my medicine cabinet are small strips. I was looking for something on the Internet and I found the above Hansaplast ads, which are useless to me, as I’ve never seen those products in my local supermarket.

I’d love to have “plasters” as they are called, with silver in them to treat infections. It doesn’t seem Hansaplast delivers to the States (only to Canada in North America—those Canadians always get the best stuff), but it looks like Curad has some bandages with silver.

What the heck does all that have to do with the reason you are here? Not much, except the ads are cute, and they show shrunken chubby people working hard at healing those gaping wounds on much larger body parts. The hand is male, but that’s not my fault.

Apparently, the idea behind this approach in advertising was that cuts and bruises are very painful for children, and there’s a bit of hoopla when they take place and the kids come running home (or the school nurse) to have them treated. Then the child’s caretaker should distract that child by telling him that little professionals arrive at the wound site to make it better.

Does that seem like a good idea to you?

I don’t think so. The ads’ philosophy behind all that is also that kids want to grow up to be doctors, firefighters, nurses, people in a generally helpful capacity, but I don’t think that would have worked very well for me, because when I was a little girl I wanted to grow up to become a sniper, or a vampire, or both.

Either profession would have greatly increased the stock value of companies like Hansaplast, no? But if my mom had told me a story about the little people that would visit my cut to heal it, I would have given her a long, hard look, and I would have said, “Woman, have you taken leave of your senses? Miniature people have better things to do than heal my skin, and unless you are talking about the leukocytes about which I learned in school today, still your tongue.”

Please send your love letters / hate mail to:

Advertising Agency: TBWA, Barcelona, Spain
Creative Directors: Ramon Sala, Juank Espejo
Art Director: Jordi Rins
Copywriter: Juank Espejo
Illustrator: Urano
Photographer: Jordi Bernabé

PetitPlat by Stéphanie Kilgast

Just the right size for a little guy...

Saturday afternoon I was poking around at Flickr, looking for backgrounds as I do from time to time, acting as though I don’t have hundreds of unfinished collages to work on before I continue accumulating material, when I found this adorable image.

So tiny!

PetitPlat is the miniature work of Stéphanie Kilgast, tiny foodstuffs, dollhouse accoutrements, jewelry, all representing things in a very small scale, and perfectly adorable. Upon seeing the image I instantly thought of this collage by Gcode, one of the best shrunken-man images in the history of EVER.

"11-Aren't You Lucky" by Gcode

If you look at Ms. Kilgast’s gallery you will find photos of little dolls arranged together with the play food in a little kitchen or a tiny table, but I prefer to imagine a shrunken man that sleeps in the nude and wakes up to a delicious morning meal served in a bitty tray and brought to his doll-sized bed by the woman that owns him, keeps him and feeds him.

He’s lucky indeed.

Flickr cloning and a joke

I was scanning through some fickr images when I stumbled upon this image by Jeff the Trojan…

No arguing in front of little ones.

…and the joke that follows it. I hadn’t heard it before and obviously I think the image is adorable despite the shadow work, so there’s a paste. Incidentally, it adds to the joke that the creator of the image looks like Simon Pegg.

* * *

A guy named Joe walks into a bar, sits down, and sets a package on the floor by his feet. Noticing that music seems to be coming from the package, another man named Clyde sitting next to him asks him what’s in the box.

“You really don’t want to know,” says Joe.

“No, really, I’m interested. What is it?” replies Clyde.

Joe opens up the package and inside is a living, breathing, 12-inch-tall man sitting at a tiny piano, playing music. The tiny piano player smiles and nods to the other man as he continues playing music on the tiny piano.

“That’s amazing!” says Clyde. “How did you get that?!?!”

“You really don’t want to know,” Joe warns.

“No, I definitely want to know!” says Clyde.

“Okay,” replies Joe, “When I was out in the desert in the Middle East I found this bottle and when I rubbed it, a genie popped out. He said I had one wish, and when I made my wish I got this little guy.” As he recounts the story, he pulls the bottle out of the package.

Clyde excitedly tells Joe that he’d really like to have a chance to use the bottle. Joe warns Clyde that he really shouldn’t do it, but after a lot of pestering, he finally lets Clyde have the bottle.

Ecstatic, Clyde rubs the bottle and lo and behold, a genie pops out. “You have one wish! What would you like?” asks the genie in a strange voice indicating that he may be slightly hard of hearing.

“I want a million bucks!” says Clyde.

“Done!” says the genie, and with a puff of smoke, he is gone. Suddenly the skies around the bar are filled with ducks. The ducks circle the bar and whenever somebody opens the door, hundreds of them fly through and circle above Clyde.

“What is this?!?!” yells Clyde. “I didn’t wish for a million ducks!” Joe replies:

“Do you think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?

* * *

INXS – What You Need

Weapons of mini destruction

I posted this at my old blog last year, so the “yesterday” I refer to below took place in June 2007.

Original video found here.

I don’t often visit the ONION (America’s Finest News Source), but yesterday I spotted the above as I was looking for another fake article.

The idea of nuclear explosions isn’t an amusing one, but the video made me smile, and gave all manner of inspiring ideas…

I can see a giant giving his beloved giantess an engagement ring that instead of a diamond it carries in its prongs a constantly recurring nuclear explosion. How big is that!

I can picture a giantess waltzing her way around a planet, and in retaliation for her destructive steps and actions its inhabitants attack her with nuclear bombs, only to watch her laugh as the detonations tickle her skin.

The idea of tiny people arming themselves reminds me of all those thoughts I’ve had on a Little vs. Giant people war of epic proportions. The giants defeat the normal-sized specks and there are no winners in such a situation, but in my way of thinking it makes for a good story.