NSF International “Mini Protectors” ads

Bottled Water

http://www.nsf.org/business/newsroom/ad_gallery.asp

I found these yesterday, and what woman wouldn’t love the idea of little ones in public service, protecting those things she needs throughout her daily life? This is a neat set of ads that also answers that age-old question: What careers would extremely small shrunken men be able to choose to earn a paycheck? Now we know.

If I had my own ad agency, this is the sort of ad I would be constantly compelled to churn out, and I would get paid the big bucks to do it. Now that would be a terrific, effortless way to earn a living!

Dietary supplements

Pots and pans

Water filters

Vanart commercial

Last night, instead of going to sleep, I went to my blog’s admin area and inspected the terms visitors used to find my blog. Doing that causes me to do my own searches every once in a while, just to see what comes up under the blanket of certain terms. Last night I thought to use the keywords “mujer gigante”, and a link to this commercial was probably the third result.

I think it’s great, and not because it includes a giantess. Well, not only because it does. Here are the other reasons:

1. The size of the giantess is one I thought of for myself many times.

2. There are no other women in this commercial. Not that there’s anything wrong with other women… but seeing one tall woman in a city that seems to be populated only by comparatively little men does wonders to create a relationship between the commercial and what I often imagine.

3. I like it when she whirls in place and her hair creates wind. Again, that moment patterns itself after effects I’ve often pictured I create.

4. I like every second of the giantess’ interaction with the “main” little man. I absolutely love his reactions to what she does. His initial shock, his smile, and the rest of it.

5. He’s wearing sandals that allow a quick glimpse of his toes. I’m the only woman in the universe that cares about that, I know.

6. Her delightful expression of mischief when she takes part of his home for her own use. That look she gives him, that tells him, “Aww, little one; that’s right, I’m taking this, and there isn’t anything you can do to stop me.”

Samsung MP3 Player ads

Opera

Elvis

Hip Hop

These ads are disappointing in various ways:

1. The female presence is sorely lacking. What’s the meaning of that, Samsung people? Don’t you know I now begin to feel the want for an MP3 player, and because you didn’t have the foresight to include a womanly ear in which to place your little guys, I will dream of spending my money on a different brand? Agonize over that.

2. The uninteresting match between listener and music. Only a well-dressed guy listens to opera; the man with the inverted cap and bling must certainly be listening to rap, and the cliché sideburns belong to the Elvis fan. Boring, and absurd. Again, Samsung, weep as I plan to spend vast amounts of money on another player.

3. The little performers are slightly amorphous, with large heads that reach within the realm of caricature. Don’t you Samsung fellas realize that a well-proportioned little man would have done wonders to facilitate my fetishist thoughts desire to try your product?

Still, these ads are appointing in that they do show little guys thrusting their tiny heads into much larger orifices. Behold the great stretching of my imagination as I unfold it like a carpet upon the wasteland of their advertising failure.

* * *

Advertising Agency: Cheil Worldwide, Seoul, Korea
Creative Director: Joungrack Lee
Art Director: Jaewon Choi
Photographer: Junghoe Kim
Published: February 2008

Telia ads

Telia Stockmarket

Telia News

Telia Facebook

I found these ads at Ads of the World as I have found others. While the existence of an ad doesn’t mean it was ever put to publicity use, it’s still nice to see that in many places there are creative people thinking about these things, and seeing potential in the visual message of size differences.

* * *

Advertising Agency: Storåkers McCann, Stockholm, Sweden
Art Directors / Copywriters: Jonas Frank, Sofia Ekelund
Photographer: Petrus Olsson, Adamsky
Published: April 2009

Rafał Olbiński’s Friendly Persuasion

Friendly Persuasion

A comment by Petronius in this entry brought to my attention the works of Rafał Olbiński. I know some of us enjoy not only stories and collages about giantesses and shrunken men, but other types of media as well. For my part I love books, and I love art; and I combine those and collect art books when I get the chance to do so. I was a little surprised to never have heard of Rafał Olbiński, especially when… well, look at these images!

La Dolce Vita

La Dolce Vita – I wish I could tell you the reason behind the creation of this poster, because on one hand there’s Nino Rota, who wrote the music for the Fellini film with the same title, but on the other hand Krzesimir Dębski, a classical music composer, also has his name on the poster.

There’s no mention of a Dolce Vita ballet on the Internet or on a list of his works, so I’m just going to concentrate on the fact that there’s a giant ballerina wearing a coliseum as part of her dancing attire, and three men are carrying ladders in her direction.

That blue sky (actually the style of the whole painting) reminds me of Magritte’s work, sans the apples and the faceless.

La Traviata

La Traviata – Was the first opera I ever went to listen live. I love the opera. I sit here thinking of it, and my heart pounds. This poster was created for the New York City Opera performance of Verdi’s La Traviata in 1992.

Considering Violetta’s fate, it’s interesting to see her portrayed as larger than life, with whom I assume is Alfredo taking the place of her mouth.

Madama Butterfly

Madama Butterfly – Another magnificent opera I have had the bitter pleasure of seeing live. The poster was created for the Utah Opera 2000’s performance of Madama Butterfly.

If only she were that size, then Pinkerton would have some sense of regret for his cruel actions. He would most likely feel this sense of regret between his legs, from what used to be there.

It’s also possible that a giantess Butterfly would have rearranged Pinkerton’s face instead of killing herself and allowing another woman to raise her child.

The Tales of Hoffman

The Tales of Hoffman – An opera by Jacques Offenbach based on three short stories by E.T.A. Hoffman, and the poster was created for the Opera Pacific, which doesn’t seem to exist anymore.

I’ll skip my rants on why that might be, avoid an enraged diatribe about the state of music in this economy, and instead mention that this is a lovely poster. It reminds me of Kinuko Y. Craft’s illustrations, although not as exuberant.

Innocence of Courteous Intentions

Innocence of Courteous Intentions – A painting and not a poster. It makes me think of the Clash of the Titans movie, in which gods can see the little mortals through some sort of mirror or glass on a table.

I can’t remember it well because I haven’t seen it in so long, but I bet you know what I’m talking about, since in it the gods are giant.

Dammit, now I won’t be able to rest until I see what it was for myself. I’ll be back later. Gonna fish it out of my DVD collection.

(Later…)

Alright, it was some sort of toy amphitheater where the gods would play with the little clay people and thus change their destinies. There’s nothing about this image that implies this, but there’s something godlike about looking down at a city through the window of a kitchen table top, and observing the little people’s lives as they scurry about from place to place.

Tosca

Tosca – I assume this is another performance poster, as Tosca is an opera. Those puppet strings make for great interaction.

There are a few other images on the Internet byRafał Olbiński that show the size difference we like between men and women, if you would like to conduct a search for them.

Soho High Heels ads

Soho High Heels 1

Soho High Heels 2

These ads are glorious. I’m not sure if “Soho” is the brand or the distributor, and the website doesn’t make it any clearer; nor do Internet search results that show either possibility could be the answer.

Soho Lab sandals

There’s a Soho Lab brand of shoes, a Skechers offspring, and any fool can see they are not as high-quality as the heels in the ads. My momma didn’t raise no fool, though for $50.00 a pair of Soho Lab sandals doesn’t exactly make me feel nauseated.

Back to the ads, and the reason I created an entry for them: It’s about being tall enough to walk in the clouds. Have you ever been up there? So high up a mountain clouds swirl and shift like great veils all around you? When I was a child I visited places that put me there. I’d get out of the car and look down the side of the road, seeing nothing but a thick blanket of graying white hiding the plummeting distance to the ground below.

I’ve never been afraid of heights, much to my parents’ occasional chagrin. It’s something slightly less than a miracle that the things I did back then to get that rush of height didn’t get me killed… but as someone with an inner giantess, I can’t help but enjoy the visual treat of what would be a fatal trek to the ground.

Biondini high heels

I have wanted to collage images like these ads, except mine would have shown legs from the ankles up.

Back to shoes! Because of my great command of the German language (read: Google translator) I was able to ascertain that the Soho website promotes various brands of shoes, among them Biondini. I want them. I want these pavement crackers. I just need to move to Europe, where most of the beautiful shoes live.

I know it’s much too soon to end this thrilling shoe discussion, but the time has come to do so. I will leave with one last thought: Be very grateful I’m not a real giantess, for if I was, I’m afraid that as kind and gentle as I would be most of the time, I would commandeer legions of workers to build colossal shoes for my feet.

* * *

Advertising Agency: Wirz/BBDO, Switzerland
Creative Director: Matthias Freuler
Art Directors: Kim Sokola, Rahel Boesinger
Photographer: www.svengermann.ch
Retoucher: Daniel Bracher

Comedy Central ads

Giant Sarah Silverman

I found this set of ads that was released recently for Comedy Central. I don’t watch cable TV, and I haven’t seen a Comedy Central show (aside from The Colbert Report) in years, but when I saw them at Ads of the World, they spoke to me for some mysterious reason. Who knows what that might be.

Pros:

1. One of the ads displays a giantess. There’s no mistaking it for anything else. There’s a giantess, and she’s very tall, so large she towers over the city. I want to go to a large (to others, not to me) city under those exact circumstances: giantess, towering, city-as-my-playground type stuff.
2. That’s a toy-sized London, given the height of the giantess. It has a great skyline, and visiting London is on my bucket list.
3. If I were to grow that tall, she would be the sort of evil —or mad— giantess I would be forced to destroy in an epic battle that would be remembered for centuries to come. Why? Because I’m the kind of giantess that doesn’t allow bad things to happen to innocent buildings.
4. She’s a brunette, and so am I. I can look at the image as I squint a bit, and see myself in her place, with darker skin and decent clothes, of course.
5. There’s something to seeing ads like these that makes me feel someday there will be a movie about a shrunken man and a woman that fall in love. I know it’s a big stretch, but I’m good at those. Well, I would be if I could grow.

Cons:

1. The giantess is Sarah Silverman, for whom I don’t care much as a comedienne. I don’t dislike her, but I thought her SNL stint was nondescript, quite forgettable. I’ve never watched her show, and I probably never will.
2. She needs to step away from that building. The way she’s looking at it reminds me of things I’ve spoken of before. Terrible things.
3. For that reason, if I were to grow that tall, she would be the sort of evil —or mad— giantess I would be forced to destroy in an epic battle that would be remembered for centuries- oh, wait. That’s a good thing.
4. What? She’s wearing a bikini and Steve Carell is not in a thong? What gives, justice of the world? Why can’t there be equality in ads? Get rid of the suit, and have him wear a loincloth! Don’t make me go down there. I swear I’ll turn this planet around.

More pros than cons! Whoopie! Here’s giant Kenny and Steve Carell.

Giant Kenny

Giant Steve Carell

* * *

And the people to blame (or thank) for these ads are:

Advertising Agency: Karmarama, London, UK
Creative Director / Art Director: Dave Buonaguidi
Copywriter: Sarah McGregor
Photographer: Julian Wolkenstein
Published: April 2009

MODS ads

Little guy painting the eye.

Tiny man sawing off nose vellus.

Micro man whitening teeth.

MODS is an image retouching or editing company in Sweden, and a few days ago I found their series of ads that show a very small worker altering images as though they provide third-dimensional interaction.

He’s small enough to enter what’s classified as a micro, a man so reduced in size he’s rendered difficult to see. Every once in a while I’m in the mood for micro, although I reiterate (for no reason besides my enjoyment in doing so) that my favorite height in a shrunken man is two little inches.

I instantly assume this shrunken person is human, male, and exactly my type. I’d need a magnifying glass to discover every manner in which he’s my type, but it’s more fun that way.

Weleda Migraine Remedy ads

Mean little men, are they not?

Neat set of ads that demonstrate the relationship between a migraine headache and its solution, illustrated by clichés.

The one that interests me for blogging purposes is the third one, the one with tiny men wielding sledgehammers and going at it on that poor woman’s head.

The song that came to mind to go along these images was Peter Gabriel’s Sledgehammer, but I couldn’t find it. Shocking.

Doggies!

Demons!

Polvo – Enemy Insects

Miss Epil ads

Binoculars

Compass

Map

I found these ads just a few minutes ago. I hereby claim I’ll return to my blog later and share some thoughts about them. Have a nice morning!

A million years later….

You know, women are naturally hairy. That was the title of an ancient thread started by someone very clever at a giantess board that no longer exists, and it’s also the truth. I returned to it quite a few times to read what people had to share, and it showed me that what I’ve experienced throughout life is also reflected in people’s opinions.

It’s nice to know that some of us realize women were not born hairless creatures, nor do we grow to be such. Everyone (I don’t know of any disorders that affect this, but I imagine there must be some) has vellus hair. Male or female, regardless of age, most parts of our bodies are covered by this peach fuzz that’s more or less visible depending on various factors, one of them ethnicity. I don’t believe men or women worry about vellus hair as they are concerned with terminal hair, the darker, thicker, longer hair that many men (and women) lose from their heads, and grow on other parts of their bodies: arms, legs, backs, face, etc.

This latter terminal hair is what women (and even some men) struggle to make disappear or seem less visible. Whatever process is chosen hurts more often than not, and has repercussions on the skin’s health. Whether one uses a less invasive method, and applies a depilatory cream that contains chemicals designed to “melt” the hair (and it’s never below skin level, no matter what commercials say), or one rips hair and skin layers with sugars or waxes or a shaving razor, the choice one makes must be repeated (even treatments that are supposed to rid one of hair “permanently” must take place several times).

I’d like to think the day will come that a woman won’t think herself less feminine because her legs are covered with hair, and she won’t rip the hair off her arms because no other woman on TV, or in school, or at her office has hair on her arms the way she does. I doubt that day will come soon, given how in some cultures people have been working hard to get rid of unwanted hair for many centuries.

I’m sometimes annoyed by my body hair, despite the fact that it has never affected me adversely in relationships, and it’s often been the target of compliments by weird nice gentlemen. I sometimes work hard to get rid of it, and my screams can be heard across several states. I’m no stranger to Nad’s, Nair, and the rest of those brands.

My epic battles with unwanted hair don’t really enter the heavy, naughty core of my fantasies on a daily basis, but every once in a while I approach the matter in playful, deeply romantic terms, and generally in shrinking scenarios. When I’m a giantess in my mind, I don’t spend much time picturing myself worried about body hair. I’m mostly changing geography or the weather while romancing my little man, or battling a monster giantess, or slipping between buildings to peek into little windows, etc.

So, if you ever spot a woman’s arms or legs or armpits and realize she has more hair on them that you do, don’t point or jeer or laugh. She doesn’t have a disorder, and she’s perfectly normal. In fact, she’s braver than most the moment she decides to stop tearing off skin layers and to spend her life as comfortable with her genetic heritage as her male counterparts have been for countless generations.

I still like the shrunken men in these ads, though. Put little men on an ad for anything, and I’ll love it: dolphin-laden tuna, Mentos, diapers, even *gasp* Grape-Nuts, and I’ll fall for it. I’m that easy.

OK, maybe I wouldn’t love the Grape-Nuts ad… unless the shrunken man was advertising the fact that he can use those disgusting nuggets as bricks to build a tiny home, or as cannonballs, or paper-boat anchors, or anything else also heavy, hard, and inedible.

* * *

Advertising Agency: Lowe Strateus, Paris, France
Creative Director: Vincent Behaeghel
Art Director: Olivier Minet
Copywriter: Maxime Landsheere
Illustrator 3D: Nicolas Marrocco
Photographer: David Ledoux